Happy Birthday to Us!

Kia ora koutou,

This is the second post for 2012. I was too busy ripping out Simon Doull, so I forgot to wish you all a crappy new year last time. Crappy new year. 2011 was mighty shit with the Thugby World Cup, Alasdair Thompson's outdated outbursts, snow in Wellington, Black Swan, honours, EARTHQUAKES, songs about earthquakes, and all sorts of other awfulness. If the rubbish line up at Bug Diy Oet is anything to go by, 2012 promises to be just as much of an abomination.

We're not here today to celebrate the end of a terrible year. Shauny and myself would like to pat ourselves on the back for turning one! Over the past twelve months, our blog has been viewed nearly 5,500 times. Only, like, half of those have come from us refreshing the screen. Even though most of you only tune in to tell us we're shit, we would like to thank you for your readership. We'd especially like to thank those that spread the wise words of UUJM through social media or word of mouth. That view count is a direct line to my self-esteem and I can never get too much of that.... We'd also like to thank our guest columnists, Richard 'Mayer Slayer' Flanagan and Helena from Seatoun. It's cos of you guys that people sometimes accidentally read something written by me or Shaun.

To mark our first birthday, me and Shauny would like to post a list of things that aren't shit. Don't worry, we'll be back to hating next week.

We like:

- The 'h' in Whanganui.

- The two 'h's' in MicHael LHaws.

- Gavin Larsen, Nathan Astle and Chris Harris - New Zealand cricket offered kids heroes at one point.

- Steve Braunias - This is funny. So is this. I think he spelled 'Lhaws' wrong though, see above.

- Gay soldiers.

- Starting the national anthem with Māori.

- Putting the macron on the 'ā' in 'Māori.'

- New Zealand micro-breweries - once upon a time, Macs and Monteiths were impressive brews but as time goes on, they're increasingly guilty of dropping the ball. Thank goodness for the latest generation of craft brewers. Three Boys, Emersons, Croucher, Epic and Tuatara all make good piss. Good on you team! Sorry Tui, you didn't make the cut.

- Speed limits.

- Sweetman hating your favourite band. Fat Froggy's Dip are bad. Sucks Sucksty are worse.

- Feminism

- Helen Clark's pantsuit

- Kiwi beaches that are at least great for walking on even if the weather is rubbish.

- Slower drivers pulling over at safe moments.

- Alton Worthington.

Feel free to add to our list, give props to your favourite brewery or tell us we're wrong. Whatever your response, thanks for reading!