I'm 25. I'm sitting at the bar, minding my own business with a mate who is a similar age. Our good friend, the local bar owner comes over and we chat with her for a while. Over the course of the chat, we request a song from her playlist. Me and my mate both like The Beatles so we request a Beatles tune. We're happy enough, sipping our beers and bopping along to 'Paperback Writer.' Suddenly, our modest oasis of relaxation gets ambushed by the most terrible predator of all.
No, not a cougar. The old-bar-guy. He's a baby boomer which means he's seen everything and knows everything and feels he has to impart his wisdom on young gunslingers like us whether we want to hear it or not. He took our Beatles request as an invitation to unveil his 'knowledge' of 'his' era. His 'chestnuts' are generally well known facts portrayed as insider secrets. He tells them like he's betraying the boomer code and giving secret information to a rival generation. "Ringo Starr is not his real name." "Today's music all sounds like it's influenced by earlier music." The list goes on. Other statements are merely opinions portrayed as fact. "Jimmy Page is the best guitarist of all time." "You can't go past so-and-so if you want a good drummer."
Old-bar-guys of the world, please know several things. Firstly, your opinions are not fact. Secondly, I know quite a bit about music and I know I am annoying when I start getting preachy so I try not to. I also probably know a bit about a few bands you've never heard of (in fact, a few decades of bands you've never heard of) but you don't care to hear from me, do you? Thirdly, get your facts right. I know David Bowie didn't release 'All the Young Dudes' but when I tell you he wrote and produced it, take my word for it. Fourthly, DON'T RUIN MY NIGHT BY GIVING ME BULLSHIT ADVICE / INSIGHT I NEVER ASKED FOR!
Fortunately, if you are a girl, old-bar-guy won't talk to you patronisingly about things like music. Instead he'll tell you all about what a great boyfriend he would make. Much better than men your own age. And the reason he knows this, which he will also share, is because he has spent his whole life being an arsehole to his wife and with hindsight regrets this. He wants to make it right by being really nice to a much younger woman (meanwhile he is generally still married).
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