People who think they're all whack and shit for doing thoroughly normal things that heaps of other people do.

You fall into this category if you think you're totally-off-the-wall-Charlie-Sheen-earlier-in-2011-bat-shit-crazy for...

• wearing a costume at a costume party, an event in which everyone else wears a costume.
• playing the ukulele, an instrument whose rise in popularity is so meteoric that every shithead in New Zealand has one and thinks they're in Fly My Pretties.
• smoking flavoured tobacco through some unusual contraption.
• getting sunburned.
• being white and walking through a brown neighbourhood.
• riding the Trans-Siberian.
• watching back-to-back TED talks for 7 hours.
• dancing for a long time at a bar.
• going anywhere in Africa.
• exchanging a message with a celebrity on Twitter. When Ross Taylor says, “cheers” after you send him a “happy birthday” tweet you’re still not his best mate.
• this just in...growing a beard during Movember! Wear one all the time you sissy!
  

Any other suggestions?