Your taste in music

People who like "anything with a good beat really"

What constitutes a good beat exactly? Do you like Joy Division? There are some great beats on Joy Division songs. What? You don't like Joy Division? OK, how about The National? You've never heard of them? You'd like them, their drummer is great. I'll play some right now. What? You don't like them either? African tribal music? Pow-wow music from a reservation? Traditional Korean polyrhythmic drumming? The guys who used to hit drums at Warriors games? No? No? No? No? OK, I get it now. You like The Rolling Stones' Greatest Hits album. True enough, the Stones have great beats but they aren't the only ones. Broaden your horizons and stop trying to look so widely informed. This is the kind of thing John Key would say and that should tell you all you need to know.

People who like every kind of music, "especially Jazz and anything groovy"

People who like every kind of music, especially Jazz and anything groovy, invariably know precisely nothing about Jazz (Kenny G, right?) or anything groovy (Groove Armada, right?). NEVER let them near any kind of publicly-audible sound device.

Anyone who thinks their taste in music is "eclectic" (including us)

Much like bands describing themselves, you have no right to this term. "Eclectic" doesn't mean you like top 40 rap AND top 40 rock AND, just to blow my mind, your parent's copy of Billy Joel's Greatest Hits. It means you dabble, knowledgeably and passionately, in pretty much every genre under the sun. Does your country selection stack up with your classical selection? Your afro-beat with your Americana? Your folk with your funk? Your rap with your roots and your reggae and your rockabilly? Your speed metal with your Scandanavian death metal with your thrash metal with your rap-metal? See what I mean? Your definition of "eclectic" is my definition of "you're a dick".