The Reader's Digest Trust Survey

Who constructs these lists and how the hell do they do it? There are so many problems with it I can barely control myself. Luckily for this post, the article on the survey says nothing about how the survey is done. You can view the article and the ranked list here.

According to the online Oxford English Dictionary, to trust is to "believe in the reliability, truth or ability of" an entity, in this case, a person. (Yes, the survey ranks professions as well but I'm gonna stick to commenting on the list of people.) I'm not entirely sure what these one hundred people have done to earn the trust of the readers that voted for them.

I don't wish to take anything away from many of the people on the list. They didn't ask you to vote for them. They did their jobs and some of them stand amongst the greatest in their fields in the whole world. Credit where credit's due.

But what has made Bret McKenzie more trustworthy than Jemaine Clement? What has made either of them trustworthy enough for the top ten? Could it be that people voted for them because they recognised them and liked their work? If anything, Jemaine is the more reliable. After all, he only has one facial expression and one tone of voice. Then again, I'm quite willing to let Bret be tainted by his association with The Black Seeds.

Why are there only two women in the top ten? Is it cos they have sick problems once a month? Probably, selfish bitches. Why is the highest ranked woman someone I've never heard of and why is the second highest ranked woman a bloody fashion designer? I guess contributing to the low self esteem of young women makes a person pretty trustworthy. After all, that's all catwalk fashion is. Stuff that looks ridiculous and most of us can't afford even though we're told we should want it. Good grief.

What has Richie McCaw done to fall from 11th place in 2010 to 55th in 2011? I would say nothing. That guy goes out on the field and gives it everything he's got, every time. What has Daniel Vettori done to fall 40 places from 18 to 58? Lead New Zealand to a surprisingly good World Cup result? Wow, what a bastard. Dave Dobbyn has dropped 41 places too. Why? God only knows.

Let's go to the other end of the list. Why is John Key ranked higher than Hone Harawira? Key is extremely reluctant to comment on lots of stuff and reluctant to stick to his word on the rest. The 'Smiling Assassin' said he wouldn't fuck with GST and he did. Check out his view on The Springbok Tour...he doesn't feel strongly about anything. As Steve Braunias said of "Mr Flip-flop" before Key's election in 2008, "you can't call Key two-faced cos he hasn't even shown one face yet."

Harawira on the other hand has never been anything other than perfectly clear on where he stands on anything. He left the Maori Party because they changed, not because he did. They think they can work with Don Brash post election for goodness sake! New Zealand may not like Harawira's views but at least he has views and at least they've been consistent for decades.

So what the fuck New Zealand? Who the hell came up with this list, why, and what does it mean? You did, to fill Reader's Digest column inches and nothing. You can bank on that.

And P.S. - If you're still reading that bloody magazine you should get an internet connection.