This week, we had the misfortune of meeting an Auckland-based Les Mills Person and hearing about their week. We wrote it down to preserve the timeless wisdom.
Monday: 6am Body Pump. Great session, feeling energised. Go to job at law firm/advertising agency/radio station. Eat low carb, high protein lunch.
Tuesday: 6am Body Kombat. I love this class but I wish the boxing gloves weren’t so hard on my hands. Go to job at law firm/advertising agency/radio station. Eat low carb, high protein lunch.
Wednesday: 6:30am Weights Session to add tone to problem areas. Go to job at law firm/advertising agency/radio station. Pick up takeaway lunch at Revive. Treat myself to wheatgrass shake even though I know it’s actually packed with sugar.
Thursday: Day off. Stay late at law firm/advertising agency/radio station. Sometimes I get the feeling that my boss doesn’t respect me as a person. I don’t know why that is. I mean, he’s so flirtatious with me at work drinks.
Friday: Kickstart day with Body Pump. Go to job at law firm/advertising agency/radio station. Meet other Les Mills people for drink at BCC. Conduct superficial conversation. Midnight: go for dance in Ponsonby. Wear clothes that show off my body. Meet hot guy from another law firm/advertising agency/radio station. Exchange numbers. Resist temptation to eat takeaways on way home despite being drunk.
Saturday: Hungover. Address hangover with high protein, low carb breakfast. Attend 11am body pump. Wooahh yeah feeling energised! Nothing like a great session to blow out the cobwebs. 2pm: go to Ponsonby beauty salon for spray tan and IPL treatment. After treatment browse Ponsonby shops for expensive clothes. 8pm: have a few relaxed wines with the girls. End up going out for a dance again. Meet 31 year old small business owner on again-off again boyfriend at the Long Room. Stay the night at his house and have some really great sex. Man I love my Les Mills body- it's so empowering being this fit and hot. He loves it too.
Sunday: Wake up late and find 31 year old small business owner on again-off again boyfriend has cooked me breakfast. Older guys are the complete package. If only I was the sort of person who could be tied down. I know he’d love that. Finally roll out of bed and go to Freemans Bay New World to stock up supplies of pro-biotic yoghurt, spirulina and organic fresh fruit. Catch an episode of Geordie Shore on MTV. Oh my god it cracks me up how superficial those people are. I could never be like that. Wow, I deserve an early night tonight, big week ahead. Smother face with bio-oil and turn in.
Monday: Repeat.
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